Tag Archives: Memoir

The greatest generation: “What did we fight for?”

Dad and SueIt was Tom Brokaw, the retired nightly news anchor, who coined the term, The Greatest Generation, which was the title of his popular book about the Americans that grew up during the depression and fought valiantly in World War II “not for the fame and recognition, but because it was the right thing to do.”  The wars since then—Korea, Viet Nam, Iraq I, Iraq II, and Afghanistan—lack the moral clarity and consensus that existed back then. 

My dad served on a destroyer, the USS Caperton,  in the Pacific fleet that survived Kamikaze attacks and patrolled Tokyo harbor during the peace treaty ceremony aboard the USS Missouri.  He recently visited the WWII memorial in Washington D.C. in the company of my sister, Susan.  They were part of the “Honor Flight” program, which quotes Will Rogers, “We can’t all be heroes.  Some of us have to stand on the curb and clap as they go by.”

Thanks to Pam Spaulding’s blog, Pam’s House Blend, I post a video of another WWII hero from the Allied effort in Europe, and he asks the poignant question, “what do you think I fought for in Omaha Beach?”  Listen to his answer.

Mixed marriage nixed

The wire services and blogosphere are full of the story of the Louisiana Justice of the Peace who refused to marry an interracial couple.  Here is a portion of the AP story.

A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

With this 2009 news story, allow me to repost an earlier entry about Loving v. Virginia.

In 1958, Richard and Mildred Loving were arrested in Virginia and charged with violating that state’s anti-miscegenation laws prohibiting inter-racial marriages.  With the assistance of the ACLU, the couple fought all the way to the US Supreme Court which overruled their conviction in June of 1967, 42 years ago.

According to blogger Nick Covington, the trial court that found them guilty cited religious “truths”:

“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”

My wife and I are white folks of Scandinavian ancestry, but this fall we expect to become grandparents of a “beautiful brown baby”, in the words of my now deceased mother.  When mom was dying of ALS, she expressed few regrets, but she confided to Guni, my black son-in-law-to-be, that she was sorry that she wouldn’t get to meet her great-grandkids, the “beautiful brown babies” to be born of his marriage to our daughter Greta.

Greta and Guni

So, when the child is born sometime around Oct 1, one of the prayers I will offer will be thanks for mom’s compassionate heart.  I will also remember the words of our friend, Sandra from Barbados, who said life is good “when you’re all mixed up” referring to her own pot pourri ethnicity of English, African, and East Indian.

UPDATE:  Awashima Marlee (Mom’s name) Andzenge was born on October 4.  Click here for more info and a photo with Grandpa.

While vestiges of racism remain, America has clearly traveled far down the road of racial justice in the 42 years since the arrest of the Lovings.  But  interest in the Loving’s story is rekindled as precedent for the analogous struggle for gay marriage.  Although she has since passed away, Mildred Loving herself stirred the debate with her own statement two years ago on the 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision in her own case (quoted in Mountain Sage blog):

My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.gaymarriage

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the ‘wrong kind of person’ for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.

I’m not sure about imbedding video in this blog, so I will simply refer you to another blog, Down with Tyranny, to listen to Nanci Griffith’s title song from her album to be released on June 9, The Loving Kind.

 

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Meet our new granddaughter: Awashima Marlee Andzenge

G-pa and AwashimaPlease allow a post of personal privilege.

My wife and I have our first grandchild, a girl born October 4, 2009, to our daughter and her husband, Greta and Senenge (Guni) Andzenge.  Awashima was born at 4:21 am Sunday morning, and the video and photo were taken about 20 minutes later.

“Awashima” is Nigerian for “we have faith in each other,” and Marlee was my Mom’s name.  Mom died about five years ago from ALS.  When Greta and Guni were engaged, Mom told them that she had few regrets about her terminal illness but one regret would be that she would not see their “beautiful brown babies.” I’m sure Mom is smiling down today on her namesake.

 

 

New York Minute

My wife and I love to visit NYC, and we have had plenty of opportunities since our eldest began college at Eugene Lang / The New School in the mid nineties. After a few years in Chicago, she returned to permanent residence in Brooklyn seven years ago.

But now she is at one of those life moments when she needs the solace and sanctuary of home, and I helped her move back to Minnesota late last week. On Wednesday morning, I departed Northfield, Mn and traveled the 1200 miles to Brooklyn in my SUV in a day and a half. Thirty six hours after crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, the SUV headed back to Mn pulling a UHAUL filled with books and her meager worldly goods. Daughter and dad arrived back in Northfield in time for Mom’s Sunday birthday. After 2500 miles on the road in four plus days, I am ready for a little downtime at the computer while daughter locates the nearest Yoga studio.

The first time I journeyed from Mn to NYC was in the fall of 1966 as my parents drove me to my freshman year at Dartmouth. This small town boy was scared shitless. We spent a few days in the big city with Dad’s brother Lloyd serving as tour guide. The Empire State Building, street celebration in Little Italy, fancy German restaurant that loaned us ties when we entered, and the rest is a blur.

In recent years with our daughter living in Brooklyn, we have enjoyed the occasional Broadway show, the singing wait staff at Ellen’s Stardust Diner, the subway, Tom’s Breakfast diner on Washington Avenue in Brooklyn, the west village, Brooklyn botanical gardens, and getting to know our daughter’s eclectic New York friends.

Now, as we journeyed west, I shared memories of my own pilgrimages back and forth across the upper tier of states east of the Mississippi. During the Dartmouth years, there were numerous road trips along the I-80, I-90 corridor. I’m not sure if my daughter paid much attention to my reminiscing about the flat tire blowout in the fast lane of the Dan Ryan Expressway around Chicago, the side trips into Canada at Buffalo and reentry at Detroit to avoid toll roads, the ritual bar stop for a quick beer in Whitehall, New York after crossing Vermont to celebrate the 18 year old drinking age, the deer that we hit in Wisconsin, the night spent in the Tomah, Wisconsin jail after getting a 2 am speeding ticket without enough cash to pay the fine, and other Kerouac/On the Road moments.

The world has turned countless times since I first followed these freeways and toll roads over forty years ago. I suspect those concrete paths are much the same now as then. Even if my daughter wasn’t listening to my stories, I was.

UPDATED: June 28, 1969: Where were you? Stonewall remembered.

Many of you probably weren’t born, so I guess this is a question for the baby boomers, like me. But, I encourage the young’uns to read along, anyway, to get a better understanding of who and where we are this Sunday, the fortieth anniversary of Stonewall.

Here’s my answer. I had just turned 21 and had just finished my army infantry training in the heat and amongst the snakes and spiders of Fort Polk, Lousiana, “Fort Puke, the arm pit of America,” we called it. Pilfered from www.imjinscout.com/fort_polk1.html“If’n one of them coral snakes bites ya, here’s the proper military procedure,” droned the drill sergeant. “Spread yer legs to a comfortable military stance, put yer hands on yer knees, bend down at the waist as far as you kin, and kiss yer sweet ass goodbye.”

A few weeks earlier, over Memorial Day weekend, our battalion received back to back three day passes, a rare treat toward the end of our training. We were all headed to Viet Nam to become “grunts”, anyway, might as well allow us a good time. My new girlfriend of less than six months drove down from Minnesota — along with my parents, brother Mike, and his girlfriend — and we all camped out at Aunt Carol’s place in nearby Lake Charles. In front of a sultry red sun of dusk, under the bearded Spanish moss that hung from the live oaks that leaned over a dusty country lane, I had proposed, but the girlfriend had turned me down.

But now, three weeks later, I was back in Minnesota on a 30 day leave before departing for my one year tour of duty as an infantryman in Viet Nam, and the girlfriend had finally consented under my relentless urgings, and she allowed me to purchase an engagement ring. I needed that lifeline, that sense of committment and belonging, that sense that there was a future beyond the jungles of Southeast Asia, and her assent to one day becoming my bride gave me that grounding. Lynn still wears that ring, today. I didn’t know then what a privilege it was to ask the one I loved to be for me; to hold my hand and keep my heart close; to send and receive trite, and silly, and melancholy missives; and to wait and to be there when I returned.

Bobby Dylan was singing and saying that the times were a’changing, but it wasn’t clear in what direction. Tricky Dick was in the White House. Dion was lamenting the losses of Abraham, Martin, and John: “but it seems the good, they die young,” and in my narcissism I knew the song was about me. I wasn’t much concerned about what was going on in Greenwich Village, NYC.

If there were any gay people in my life then, I didn’t know it. Oh, there was elderly Emil, a hapless figure who would buy the small town boys cigarettes, but we all knew not to go behind any buildings with him. Maybe some did, I don’t know. I suppose somebody had to be the source of the giggling about the comic old man. In hindsight, I know that an older cousin later died in alcoholic squalor, never fully able to come to grips with who he was, and I have a younger cousin who thrives in a long term relationship with Robert. Perhaps there is symbolism in the differences between the older and the younger. In a reunion with my younger cousin a few years ago, he laughingly recounted how he loved to come and spend time with us in Minnesota and with dear old Grandma Olga because she allowed him to dress up in girl’s clothes.

Queers were deviates, so said the medical and psychological establishment. Fags were outlaws and security risks, so said the FBI, State Department, US Postal Service, as well as state and local law enforcement agencies. Homosexuals were sinners who had chosen the wrong path and needed repentence, so said the word from Christian pulpits. And these others, whoever they were, were mostly invisible:

a secret legion of people, known of but discounted, ignored, laughed at or despised. And like the holders of a secret, they had an advantage which was a disadvantage, too, and which was true of no other minority group in the United States. They were invisible. Unlike African Americans, women, Native Americans, Jews, the Irish, Italians, Asians, Hispanics, or any other cultural group which struggled for respect and equal rights, homosexuals had no physical or cultural markings, no language or dialect which could identify them to each other, or to anyone else.

Dudley Clendinen and Adam Nagourney, as quoted in the Wikipedia article on Stonewall. Whatever you may think of Wikepidia generally, I urge to read the lengthy article about the Stonewall riots.

Stonewall Inn When the eight police officers knocked on the Stonewall door at 1:20 a.m., June 28, 1969, and announced “Police! We’re taking the place!”, they didn’t know they were about to make history, any more than the bus driver who ordered Rosa Parks to surrender her seat on the Montgomery, Alabama bus to a white passenger 14 years earlier. Spurred by the successes of the civil rights movement, the bra burning feminists, and the college students protesting the war, the response of the gay community of Greenwich Village to the routine police raid on the Stonewell Bar of Christopher Street, said Dylan was right, the times were a’changin’.

We all had a collective feeling like we’d had enough of this kind of shit. It wasn’t anything tangible anybody said to anyone else, it was just kind of like everything over the years had come to a head on that one particular night in the one particular place, and it was not an organized demonstration…. Everyone in the crowd felt that we were never going to go back. It was like the last straw. It was time to reclaim something that had always been taken from us…. All kinds of people, all different reasons, but mostly it was total outrage, anger, sorrow, everything combined, and everything just kind of ran its course. It was the police who were doing most of the destruction. We were really trying to get back in and break free. And we felt that we had freedom at last, or freedom to at least show that we demanded freedom. We weren’t going to be walking meekly in the night and letting them shove us around—it’s like standing your ground for the first time and in a really strong way, and that’s what caught the police by surprise. There was something in the air, freedom a long time overdue, and we’re going to fight for it. It took different forms, but the bottom line was, we weren’t going to go away. And we didn’t.

Michael Fader quoted in the same Wikipedia article.

Will the occasion be noted from any pulpits this Sunday? Some, I hope, but only a few, I fear. Probably not in my own church, even though I know my pastor is willing, but the congregation isn’t ready. Not yet. But, someday, and sooner than you think. It’s blowin’ in the wind.

UPDATE:

Here is a list of links to other blogs or websites discussing the 40th anniversary of Stonewall.

Twin Cities Pride (including info about 2009 Pride Events)
Kate Clinton: Stonewall 40
The Gifts of Stonewall – 40 Years Later
Pride in the South Central Region
Stonewall, 40 Years Later, What Has Been Achieved?
Weekend Video Roundup: Why We Fight (Idaho Edition)
Stonewall Remembered

Gone fishin’

Canadian walleyeSorry for the lack of activity these past few days.  I was finishing my novel manuscript to get it to the publisher, and this morning I head to Ontario for a fishing trip.  I’ll be back on Tuesday the 16th.  Here’s a photo from last year.

UPDATE:
Eleven veterans and one newbie camped on a remote island of Rainy Lake for four nights (Brule Narrows). The traditional refrain has been: fish, eat, sleep. We realized we needed to add a fourth to that list: smoke cigars.

Walleye fishing was extremely spotty – very hot or very cold. Between four boats, we boated over 300 walleyes with about 80% of those too large for the 17.5″ max according to Canadian regulations. The largest was a shade over 25″ with a median of 20-21″ (3-3.5 lbs).

The largest northern pike was around 39″ (16.5 lbs).

Recovery Church

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Communion at Recovery Church

 

Today’s Mpls Star Tribune reports on a pair of downtown twin cities Methodist churches that have become “The Recovery Church.”  It started one Sunday in 1999 when the Rev Jo Campe offered an addiction recovery service at Central Park United Methodist Church in downtown St. Paul, and now recovery has become the spirit of regular Sunday services there and also at a sister church in downtown Minneapolis.

 “You look at the socioeconomic diversity — the doctors and the lawyers sitting next to people who are coming in off the street,” Campe says, ” — and you realize that one thing that ties us all together is that we understand brokenness. We’ve all been through major issues in our lives in which, in some way, shape or form, we lost control.”

This blog offers my favorite quotations that randomly appear along the sidebar.  One of them is my paraphrase of the first AA twelve steps:  I am powerless, and my life is unmanageable, but a power greater than myself can restore me if I only let go.  An ELCA  pastor and addiction counselor that I know tells the story of his first visit to an AA meeting in which the presence of the Spirit was palpable and powerful.  As an occasional public speaker, I have borrowed an idea from the recently popular book (All I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten), by suggesting that all I needed to know about God I learned in AA.  I say that as one who has studied theology voraciously, both formally in graduate school and informally.  In the trite one-liners of AA lies great wisdom (“One day at a time”, “let go and let God”, “there but for the grace of God go I”, etc.).

So, Rev Campe, keep up the good work.  One of these Sundays, I’m going to hop on I-35E and drive up to St. Paul and soak in some of that spirit.

Favorite Quotations

I have added a permanent page to my blog entitled “Favorite Quotations”.  Here they are in post form.

A mortal, born of woman, few of days and full of trouble, comes up like a flower and withers, flees like a shadow and does not last.  Do you fix your eyes on such a one?  Job 14:1-3a NRSV 

 The grand premise of religion is that man is able to surpass himself; that man who is part of this world may enter into relationship with Him who is greater than the world; that man may lift up his mind and be attached to the absolute … How does one rise above the horizon of the mind?  How does one find a way in this world that would lead to an awareness of Him who is beyond this world? It is an act of profound significance that we sense more than we can say … concepts are second thoughts.  All conceptualization is symbolization, an act of accommodation of reality to the human mind. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel   

I believe that Christ was a man like ourselves; to look upon him as God would seem to me the greatest of sacrileges and an evidence of paganism.  Leo Tolstoy 

Paulinism has always stood on the brink of heresyKarl Barth 

It may be said that myths give to the transcendent reality an immanent, this-worldly objectivity.  Myths speak about gods and demons as powers on which man knows himself to be dependent, powers whose favors he needs, powers whose wrath he fears.  Myths express the knowledge that man is not master of the world and his life, that the world within which he lives is full of riddles and mysteries and that human life also is full of riddles and mysteries.  Rudolf Bultmann 

It is time that Christians were judged more by their likeness to Christ than their notions of Christ.Lucretia Mott, Quaker abolitionist and women’s rights advocate (1793-1880) 

I am powerless, and my life is unmanageable, but a power greater than myself can restore me if I only let go. AA Twelve steps (paraphrase)

A new church home

Last Sunday, my wife and I joined a new congregation, only the second church I have ever belonged to other than the one I was baptized and confirmed in, returned from afar to raise our family in, buried my mother in, and where I served as president, sang in the choir, and taught adult education. 

But change is good.  We have moved to a college town and retirement community.  The new church is bristling with energy from all ages.  We were one of twenty-one family units to join on Sunday, including 5 retired pastors and a professor or two. I have volunteered to teach adult ed, but this will be a pretty sophisticated crowd.

There is plenty of excitement about my novel about Paul the apostle to be published this fall, but I worry that it may be offensive to some.

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